Monthly Archives: November 2009

My Twilight Theory

“If you don’t like Twilight so much, why did you read the books? Why do you like talking about it?”

I have the answer.

Twilight, for some inexplicable reason, is a pop culture phenomenon. Eventually it’s going to burn out, but while it’s here it’s the big newz. People are talking about it, they’re into it, if you can’t keep up you’re out of the loop. And it’s as simple as that – I hate Twilight. That entire series is the most vapid, boring, worst ending-y horrible nonsense I have ever had the displeasure of reading or watching (except maybe for Charlie, who’s actually pretty likable). Yet I did both, I think, because it’s my way of being included in the fooferrah. If everyone is going to be talking about it anyway, I might as well go out of my way to do so, too. My talking about it just doesn’t happen to match what the fans are saying.

But yeah, I think that’s it – it’s just a way to be not left out of the event. It’s not that I cares so muuccch! that I have to talk about it. It’s that everyone is talking about it so I might as well talk about it, too…but, you know, with fun. Otherwise I might go insane from the prattle and have to lock myself in a box until after the last movie is released on DVD. That’s just not practical.

So in “honour” of New Moon, the crappy movie I have not seen yet (but I feel comfortable judging considering the source material), here are some Twilight-related links for those who’s vaginas don’t get wet (or penises hard) at the thought of sparkly vampires not boning us:

  • Masala Skeptic reviews the latest movie on Skepchick.
  • There’s this wonderful and concise synopsis in comic form.
  • Here’s the original movie in 30 second bunnies. It appears they haven’t done New Moon yet. (Although admittedly lately these are less “hilarious synopses in 30 seconds” and more “30 seconds of random cuts”.)
  • Ponder this abomination for a second.
  • These products made the rounds the first time out, but they bear repeating just to illustrate how frighteningly bizarre these fans are and how much money they’re willing to spend on shit. Bandages? Really? Also, shadowy decals to simulate night stalking are, I think, completely unprecedented and extremely disturbing. And giant, disembodied “pay no attention to that man [on] the curtain” head is way creepy (in fact, go watch Wizard of Oz; that movie rules).
  • Check out the podcast Read it and Weep that reviews Twilight and New Moon, among other crappy books.
  • And of course, the ever objective website Twilight Sucks.
  • There also various spoofs from both movies worth checking out.
  • See Cracked‘s take.

I might have to see New Moon just for the “so bad it’s good” hilarity it’s sure to provide, but I’m not sure I can take it without the Rifftrax. Although I’m fairly sure I can take it if I have unfettered use of the pause button and am free to laugh my face off when appropriate (which, if the movie is anything like the book, will be often).

But there you have it, folks – I just want to fit in! (Apparently.) So let me have my fun.

UPDATE: Moar. Even moar.

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Skeptic North on this week’s Skeptics’ Circle

They link to a piece by Some Canadian Skeptic’s Steve Thoms and from some Hebert chick. Also the Facebook group about H1N1 that is moderated by SN contributors. Yay!

“New Atheism”, Blasphemy Day, and Christmas

I’ve weighed in on “new atheism” before and now I will again…in a meandering sort of way. I just read this article from NPR courtesy of a Twitter person that I can’t quite remember now (sorry) about the “Bitter Rift” dividing atheists. There’s a rift? I suppose there is. More…

H1N1 hysteria

It’s been a long week of dealing with antivaxxers – especially on Facebook, the modern day harbinger of death via easily-spread panic/hysteria/paranoia against the very technology designed to save us from illness.

I was going to comment on this celebrity Q&A, but then I thought “Why? Who the fuck cares?”

I realize there are people that care, but I’m not going to put in the effort to correcting some of the nonsense in here (and to be fair, it’s only a few people) when my energy could be better spent elsewhere. I mean, when someone is so daft that they don’t see the danger in shaking hands with 100 people a night unvaccinated, what is the point of carefully explaining how selfish that is? It’s not all about Jan and her risk – it’s about accidentally spreading disease to 100 people/night because she didn’t wash her hands between each one. But what’s the point? She’s some celebrity, not a medical expert or a scientist. So who cares what she says?

What a celebrity says should be worth next to nothing in deciding to get vaccinated. What should matter is the evidence. Vaccines have saved millions of lives with minimal discomfort and only very rare side-effects. It’s super that David Suzuki is getting his vaccine, but who cares?