Our VAGINAZ!

Well I was going to have a nice Christmas weekend, but I thought “How can I do that with a non-steamy vagina?” So I steamed it. I steamed the living frak out of it.  And you know what? Once you’ve had words like “mugwort” and “wormwood” steamed into your genitals, you’re never quite the same.

I knew it would work because it’s ancient and Korean. We all know that they are consistently a people of reason and would never hold an utterly bizarre and completely unsupported belief that has no basis in reality. Unlike every other society in the world, they got their shit right the first time.

Now when my husband and I have sex, I can proudly show off my newly-steamed vagina and he can say “Um, why did you do that?” and I can say “I don’t know.”

What a wonderful time to be alive. It’s like an autoclave in there. $330 well spent.

Our BABIEZ!

Did you know that there was a need for non-toxic baby bedding, subtly implying that some baby bedding is, in fact, toxic? (Otherwise, what is the point of a product specially advertising that? “Buy my new non-toxic baby carrier!” See? You can do that with anything even remotely already non-toxic.)

Anyway, Jenny McCarthy thinks there’s a need and she’s got the solution.

It’s one thing to advertise as “green”, it’s another to use scare buzzwords like “non-toxic”.

Happy holidays, suckas!

Another year, another needless finger to the Christians

I think skepacabra pretty much said it all.

The latest round of atheist billboards don’t impress me any more than they did last year. Not because I care about offending anyone, but because I find it pointless to go out of the way to give Christians the finger rather than promoting a positive message about atheism. These ads don’t tell anyone what atheists are about, but they do give a solid impression that atheists are obsessed with Christianity in particular – for some reason.

Or did I just not catch the Hanukkah sign that makes fun of the Jewish? ‘Cause we all KNOW that oil lamp thing is a Myth, right?

Next year, could we maybe try to make a name for ourselves for fostering a sense of community and charity rather than going out of our way to use expensive billboard space to remind everyone that Christianity exists?

There’s a time and a place for more aggressive tactics, but a promotional billboard is not either. And if not promotional, what is the billboard for? It’s not supportive either. It seems like some atheist orgs need to think harder about what message they are trying to get across and choose their forums more wisely.

We’ll see you next Christmas… sigh.