Well I was going to have a nice Christmas weekend, but I thought “How can I do that with a non-steamy vagina?” So I steamed it. I steamed the living frak out of it. And you know what? Once you’ve had words like “mugwort” and “wormwood” steamed into your genitals, you’re never quite the same.
I knew it would work because it’s ancient and Korean. We all know that they are consistently a people of reason and would never hold an utterly bizarre and completely unsupported belief that has no basis in reality. Unlike every other society in the world, they got their shit right the first time.
Now when my husband and I have sex, I can proudly show off my newly-steamed vagina and he can say “Um, why did you do that?” and I can say “I don’t know.”
What a wonderful time to be alive. It’s like an autoclave in there. $330 well spent.