The burning stupid that is this morning

This morning, 4:05:06 AM, 07/08/2009, apparently in each time zone separately and regardless of the arbitrary nature of both the year calendar and the way we measure time, an amazing thing happened! Except that it didn’t because of all that stuff I wrote just then.

Under the cryptic headline “Rare time/date alignment could mean opportunities”, USA Today writes:

Time and date will align early Wednesday in an order that may indicate it’s a good day to make money and spend it wisely. About an hour and 45 minutes before sunrise, the time and date will be 4 a.m. and 5 minutes and 6 seconds on July 8, 2009. In other words, or numbers, it will be 04:05:06 07/08/09. Although the alignment may not mean anything specific, it could be a good day to do something for yourself and others, said Betsy Carlson, a Palm Springs tarot card reader and numerology expert.

“It’s a good day to make money and have good health,” she said.

The sum of the time’s digits equals six, if all numbers are added until there’s a single figure left (4+5+6=15; 1+5=6). Also, the numbers within the date add up to eight. According to numerology, No. 6 represents providing a good service to humanity, while No. 8 represents making money and being healthy, Carlson said.

Joy Meredith, owner of Crystal Fantasy in Palm Springs, Calif., noticed the alignment, but she’s more focused on this morning’s lunar eclipse, she said. Nonetheless, she’s a fan of numerology and sometimes tries to determine if numbers have meaning.

“I feel they could be significant, so I’m looking for that,” she said. “If they’re not, they’re not. But I am looking to see if there is any significance.”

“Date could mean stuff!” = great headline. It probably should have said “Rare time/date alignment a consequence of arbitrary number system” and then the article could have been filled with not bullshit. But we don’t live in opposite land.

The accompanying picture is of an atomic clock as if to say “see? time!” and the vague drips off of this “article” like ooze. I mean think about this line: “Although the alignment may not mean anything specific, it could be a good day to do something for yourself and others, said Betsy Carlson, a Palm Springs tarot card reader and numerology expert.” Although it may not mean anything specific, you should do something specifically retarded anyway. And how does someone become an “expert” in a fake thing, by the way? I’ve always been curious about how I could become an expert in heliotropery. Also, “It’s a good day to make money and have good health.” Oh so the day doesn’t mean anything specific, but here are 2 specific things that today means.

This is called having cake and eating cake. On the one hand they are making specific claims (good health, make money) on the other hand they’ve masked it in language and caveats (today “may not mean anything”, “it’s a good day to” — as opposed to “X will happen today”).

Then we get into the real nonsense. Even though the date consists of 6 number groups if you look at the time and date together, they break it up arbitrarily into time and date to get these “equations”:

4+5+6 = 15; 1+5 = 6 and 7+8+2+9 = 26; 2+6 = 8

If 4:05:06 is so special on its own, then why doesn’t it give us the urge to provide “good service to humanity” every morning? Or does it not work when people are asleep? If July 8, 2009 represents making money and being healthy, how some everyone doesn’t get a little boost this time every year? Clearly the point of mentioning the numbers at all was to provide them together so why discuss them separately? Also:

4+5+6+7+8+2+9 = 15+26 = 41; 4+1 = 5 also the numbers above 6+8 = 14; 1+4 = 5

So where did the number 5 go? What does 5 mean? If we’re counting the 2, then what’s so special about 4-5-6-7-8-2-9? That’s not how we arbitrarily count so why is the 2 important? Is is only to make the numerology work out? What if we didn’t have the 2:

4+5+6+7+8+9 = 15+24 = 39; 3+9 = 12; 1+2 = 3

Great, yet another arbitrary number decided by an arbitrary inclusion or exclusion of other numbers. But again they hedge their bets: “I feel they could be significant…If they’re not, they’re not.” Ok then. I’m looking to see if there’s any worldly significance in the pattern on my toilet paper. If there’s not, there’s not but I’m looking anyway. I’ll let you know what I find out because it’s important to seek significance in arbitrary things for no reason and even though it means less than nothing to anyone’s life.

And they mention a lunar eclipse in passing without elaborating on it at all so I have to wonder if it was just to make people go “There’s a lunar eclipse too!!! Weeeeeird.” Absolutely no skepticism applied to this “article” of wishy-washy, to the point of containing no information, crap. USA Today fail.

Conclusions
1) Numerology is completely dependent on arbitrary language and numerical systems so the numbers mean nothing.

2) This day and the neat little number coincidence of this morning are completely dependent on arbitrary constructs, based on the number system of specific cultures, to measure the passage of time.

3) Lunar eclipses happen all the time. A penumbral eclipse over Australia this morning is nothing special (not that they actually said that it was special, because positive claims can be attacked — they just mention it and let it float there for our consideration — but either they are suffering a case of the randoms or they mentioned this non sequitur without actually having the balls to make up a fake connection).

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5 responses to “The burning stupid that is this morning

  1. And let’s not forget that if the US ordered their dates in a sane way (like, say, the ISO STANDARD of 2009/07/08) then this would have happened years ago (August 9th, 2007).

    I’m sure they wrote an article about it then too.

    • Kimbo Jones

      Just like they will again at 5:06:07 08/09/2010…sigh. But is it 8 September or 9 August? Oh, the mysteries of life.

      • Kimbo Jones

        Also earlier today it was 12:34:56 7/8/9. Suck it, USA today.

        1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+2+9 = 47; 4+7 = 11; 1+1 = 2 or without the 2 in 2009, 45; 4+5 = 9.

        Or the way they did it in the article: Time 1+2+3+4+5+6 = 21; 2+1 = 3 and then the 8 or 6 from the year.

        So are 2 and/or 9 important? Now we’re up to 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, and 9 depending on configuration of the same numbers. 6 out of 10 possible digits. Seriously, numerology? SERIOUSLY?! How do we know which ones are the right ones? Who decides?

  2. Numbers lining up are passingly interesting, and I even celebrated Unix time 1234567890 like a big, big nerd. BUT, they have no affect on our lives. Duh.

    Also reminds me of when my mom complained to her friends that she was having trouble sleeping, and kept waking up around 3am. They concluded that she was being visited by Satan, since 3am is “his hour.” She kindly reminded them that, no, it’s because of STRESS. I simply pointed out that the Devil must always be busy, hoping from time zone to time zone every hour.

    • Kimbo Jones

      Yes, exactly. Celebrating some arbitrary thing for personal amusement = fun. Assigning magical consequences to that arbitrary thing = bullshit.