Mojo FTW – dead mother butterfly

A little background: Mojo and I got married last weekend. Mojo’s mom died several years ago. Mojo’s sister took the following picture and posted it on Facebook, eliciting the following exchange. It’s amazing what people will come up with because they think they are being nice, when in fact they are being incredibly offensive. See the third comment (Mojo’s response) for an example of how to handle to such things.

wedding faux pas

Aw….Mojo’s mom who died of cancer returned to haunt us at our wedding in the form of a spectral butterfly. That’s so sweet.

UPDATE: The saga continues.


“They’re just being rational, albeit not politely putting up with your insensitivity to their ‘beliefs’, don’t pay any attention to them.”

Resulting MSN conversation:

Mojo says: (6:43:17 PM)
Indeed.  It really only rained at 2 points in the whole day so really, any OTHER time during the day would’ve been even MORE amazing.  :)  We were pretty damn unlucky to be so close to all those things.
(K) kimbo jones says: (6:43:44 PM)
ya, it would have been eve more lucky if it hadn’t fucking rained at all
or if I hadn’t gotten eaten alive by mosquitos
or if I had gotten any sleep
Mojo says: (6:44:53 PM)
(K) kimbo jones says: (6:46:17 PM)
and [town] isn’t 2 minutes away it’s like 30 km away… to say it’s amazing that it was raining somewhere and not 30 km away is like saying it should always be raining within 30 km of things, which means that it should be raining everywhere if it rains anywhere
Mojo says: (6:47:02 PM)
Hahahaha!  Why are near misses more of a miracle than “nowhere near us”?
Y’know what would’ve been more of a miracle?  MY MOTHER NOT DYING OF CANCER!!!!  :)
(K) kimbo jones says: (6:48:14 PM)
but then that would have robbed her of being reincarnated as a butterfly…and nobody ever suspects the butterfly
Mojo says: (6:48:31 PM)

Look. We’re not trying to be crass, I know the person thought they were being nice and I know Mojo’s sister is in a difficult situation of wanting to be nice back and trying to placate everyone. But I hope people can see how we could find it crass that someone would invoke someone’s dead mother into something when it is totally uncalled for. Not only is it a serious case of pattern finding and confirmation bias, it’s relatively insulting to 1) frig with the memories of someone’s dead mother and then 2) say that us taking offense should be ignored because we’re just lowly skeptics. Or possibly it could be because we’re people who are offended by other people using nonsense to cheapen our wedding and dear family member’s memory.

“Oh lighten up!” Ok then…it DID rain on your wedding because your dead aunt fucking HATES you. That bunny roadkill there? Your grandmother. She was on her way to your prom, but the 18-wheeler thought otherwise. Why is it that only good cute fluffy things are dead relatives looking out for us? What does it mean when something bad happens? Are they fucking with us? Why is almost raining all over our wedding more miraculous than not raining at all? Especially on a day that called for “partly cloudy, chance of showers” the day after it was fucking pouring outside.

It is extremely frustrating that people have to do this. Just enjoy the day. Just be happy with the fact that some things worked out. It wasn’t for some magic reason, they just worked out…among a million other things that didn’t work out. For example, I forgot to wear my jewelry. So we have a bajillion pictures of me without jewelry. We also took a bunch of cake slicing pictures with the wrong side of the cake facing the camera. We also accidentally put the head table up against a camper so all of our pictures at dinner have a frigging camper in the background.

I’m not trying to be the cynical skeptic, I just want to enjoy the fact that things happened to work out. There’s no magic reason, it just did. There was no one looking out for us. Everyone who was there helping with the wedding and making run smoothly were completely corporial and deserve all the credit.


4 responses to “Mojo FTW – dead mother butterfly

  1. Y’know… now that my Mom has all these gnarly powers, why doesn’t she stop messing around with butterflies and do something like cure cancer!?

  2. I bet the bee was your great-uncle Karl. He’d get like that when he was drunk.

  3. Wow… I missed it… so, better late: Gratz on getting married!

    (I just blogged about weddings too.)

    As for the butterfly, it always amazes me what people will decide to believe when it suits their purposes.

  4. I meet far too many people that believe in that junk..why on earth would anyone try to associate your mother with your wedding like they did..I would probably be pissed off.