Lost Live Blog: He's Our You

Let’s get it on. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

1:40 WHAT A GREAT CHESS GAME!! YES, LET’S PLAY ANOTHER!!

2:45 Haha. You losers thought the kid who didn’t want to kill the chicken was Sayid didn’t you?

3:10 Oooooh, the kid who did kill the chicken was Sayid! :) Geez, show, catch up.

4:20 He already knew Richard, eh? Well perhaps I can’t blame Sayid for the downfall of Dharma society after all…

4:45 Young Ben is like Dakota Fanning evil…

7:05 You know how you know it’s the past (well, technically the future)? He has different hair. Beard and brushed out curls = “past”/future. No beard and curly curls = now.

7:50 How exactly did random foreign dude pose a threat to any of the Oceanic people? Or anyone else Sayid killed (just because Ben told him to, by the way – !???) for that matter?

8:55 “Put out your hands”, I ask menacingly for no reason just so that you can assume I’m going to torture you even though I’m just going to cut your bindings.

9:05 Sigh, it’s a burden being this good. Or it’s a shame Lost is so predictable.

10:55 “The next level” is really loud Celine Dion…or would be if she had released any albums in 1977. Stupid anachronistic joke…make me look dumb…grumble grumble…

11:10 Either this guy is a bad actor and doesn’t mean to sound this way, or he knows more than he’s saying to test “LaFleur” seeing as how he came to the camp under equally odd circumstances.

11:50 “A [wicked creepy] 12 year old Ben Linus just brought me a chicken salad sandwich. How do you think I’m doing?” LAWLS!

12:50 Wow Sawyer, could you have done a worse job of explaining the situation and why Sayid should cooperate? Now he’s going to go all apeshit stupid. “Then I guess I’m on my own.” Told you! Sayid, what is your fucking problem? Ever hear of a phrase that goes “benefit of the doubt”? WHY ARE YOU THERE?

13:40″And you’re going to?!” SO it’s not just me that’s surprised by Jack obeying Sawyer then…

14:30 So is Kate sort of upset because Sawyer is with Juliet or because she’s socially inept and didn’t pick that up?

15:10 Ben’s an abused child. That’s why he’s evil. All abused children turn evil, doncha know, and/or all evil people have an excuse for being that way.

17:10 WHYYYYYYY does anyone listen to Ben EVER? I will never understand this.

20:20 Is this supposed to be some weird self-inflicted punishment as a form of retribution for the people he’s killed? Or do I think too much?

20:50 Sawyer really should have done a better job at convincing him to go with the story. What if he snitched on all of them? What is the point of any of this?

27:10 If that guy is going to be annoying, and he is routinely annoying, WHY DID YOU BRING HIM?

30:55 “Let’s kill him!” If these people were ever stuck in the Andes, they would resort to cannibalism in about 5 minutes.

31:40 WHAAAAAT? You tried once not very hard to convince Sayid to join you without explaining why and he didn’t want to so now you’re voting kill him just not to get found out so you can try to help him escape later and somehow get caught for it? Good plan.

32:40 Imagine that, Miss Femme Fatale was really a femme fatale.

33:00 Oh that’s why he “happened” to be going to Guam.

34:20 If this was all just one big plot contrivance just to kill off Sayid, I’m going to be pissed.

36:40 “Everyone get to building 15 now!” Don’t you see?! It’s a decoy! Ben did it!

37:35 “Yes, Ben, I will. That’s why I’m here.” Did Ben hypnotize him the way TV hypnotism works? I can’t tell because Sayid’s got that crazy look in his eye. That “I’m calm on the outside but…” look. PS: I told you Ben did it.

40:30 Of course it’s Jin, because if it was anyone else Sayid would be shot so the plot requires that it be Jin who hasn’t been in the episode at all other than to serve this purpose.

42:00 Well, either it’s not that Ben like we thought or he isn’t dead because it’s already been explained to us about a bajillion times that only things that happened can happen. OR Sayid is magically exempt from the laws of time travel and Ben will poof out of existence thereby pissing off any fan of the show with a science degree.

While part of me wants to go “oh cool, the Losties were secretly in on everything”, another part of me is going “what a bunch of lazy retcon bastards”. How convenient that the Losties are linked to every important event on the island. That doesn’t answer any questions of why things happens, it just fills in extra coincidences for how things happened. I want answers. If the show ends and I get none, I declare Lost an epic fail.

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