Sylvia Browne in Halifax!?! Whaaaaa?

I miss everything. She totally planned this, I know it! Sylvia Browne was in Halifax last week on her — too good to be true but please oh please FSM let it be true — farewell tour. And I’m in New Brunswick. Dang, I so wish I could have wasted some of my limited income to go heckle her ask her a question. As you can imagine, I’m less than impressed… But, behold the event details!

Sylvia Browne presents “The Other Side and Back: The Farewell Tour”
March 15, 2009
World Trade and Convention Centre
Public Show

For over 40 years, Sylvia Browne has helped police solve crimes and find missing persons with her amazing gifts, and her on-target psychic readings astound audiences wherever she appears.

Whaaaaat? Lies already. Good job promoters. I really hope her people wrote this and not the good people at Ticket Atlantic. Although if they just published it verbatim without checking any of the claims, they are equally responsible for touting bullshit.

Millions have witnessed Sylvia Browne’s incredible psychic abilities on TV shows including Montel Williams, Larry King Live, The Other Side and Unsolved Mysteries. She has been profiled on CNN, Entertainment Tonight, NBC and CBS News, as well as in Cosmopolitan, People and other national print media.

Millions have witnessed guessing, and not even good guessing, on Montel. Millions have witnessed Larry King be laughably dumb in her presence. Her “profile” on CNN was less than, um, enthusiastic towards her – unless you count enthusiastically tearing Sylvia a new asshole. And seriously, Cosmo? People? Right. Epitomes of quality journalism…

In this farewell event, Sylvia will reveal new and fascinating information about her favorite topic and one that put her in the limelight since the beginning of her career– The Other Side. Her remarkable insights help people to identify and enhance their own psychic abilities, enabling them to access The Other Side and remain in contact with their own loved ones who have crossed over. Sylvia has the rare ability to explain exactly how she works, often with great humor in clear detail every step of the way.

Sylvia gives a clear understanding of how the spirit world has a profound influence on our earthly lives. She explains how to recognize and embrace those signs and use the knowledge to help ones self with their current challenges.

There are a lot of words here, yet they’ve managed to say nothing that can be objectively evaluated or proven. Fail.

PLUS: ONE LAST CHANCE TO ASK SYLVIA A QUESTION! During the event, Sylvia will randomly select audience members for on the spot readings.

Ooh, ooh really? CAPS EVEN!!! Can I please ask a question only to 1) be treated extremely insensitively and, at best, rudely; 2) be given an “easy answer” with no substance or ramblings about my alleged spirit guide that nobody can see or verify; or 3) have my memories of a dead loved one be horribly mutilated by her insensitive, yet strangely specific, details of their alleged death.

Anyone who has an opinion about this can contact Ticket Atlantic at 902-451-1221 or so you can let them know just how much you want to throw up every time you hear Sylvia’s raspy voice of doom. Then again, as this is supposedly her farewell tour it might be more effective to contact her next tour stop instead.


6 responses to “Sylvia Browne in Halifax!?! Whaaaaa?

  1. Hahaha.. you should see what they wrote in the paper:

    “For over 40 years, Browne has helped police solve crimes and find missing persons. She has demonstrated her psychic abilities on TV shows including Montel Williams, Larry King Live, The Other Side and Unsolved Mysteries.”

    So. Much. BULLSHIT!!!

  2. Confused…You linked to this site. And quoted something I talked about in this article. Methinks someone is having post-work brain fart?

  3. Tickets range from $96 to $156! Bahahaha! Oh that’s so sad. There are kids in Halifax who aren’t getting new clothes this month because their parents went to see Sylvia Browne. All I can do is laugh or my face will explode with rage.

  4. Hey!!! Look what’s coming up next:

  5. DEEPAK CHOPRA!?!?!?! Why does Halifax want my brain to implode?