It’s Thursday night, 5 June 2008. I decided to catch the program entitled “Mystery of the Crystal Skulls” on Discovery which aired at 9:00 PM Atlantic time. I was not hopeful when the show summary included many statements about the end of the world in 2012, but like a brave little skeptical soldier I pressed on.
The first several minutes was a summary about how mysterious the skulls are – great, because I couldn’t tell that by the title. After surmising that the Mayans couldn’t have carved the skulls because the archaeologists who originally found them couldn’t think of how the Mayans did it, the deep narrator voice introduced an “expert” pointing out that “if we can store gigabytes of information in the tiny amount of quartz we use in computer chips, how much could stored in these skulls?!” [paraphrasing]. All set to exciting music, of course. That statement makes so little sense I don’t even know where to begin complaining about it, so I won’t.
“Perhaps the answer lies far, far away…on Mars. Back on Earth…” Ok that phrase should never be uttered on a serious scientific show. Thus, this was not a serious scientific show. Thus, what the flying FART was it doing on Discovery?
I finally had to turn it off when they consulted Richard Hoagland about 15 minutes into the show. You heard me. Richard freaking Hoagland. On DISCOVERY! How can the people who run the same channel that airs Mythbusters sleep at night after airing this piece of trash punctuated with that extent of batshit insanity? I am absolutely disgusted.
I would have liked to brave the entire show to summarize all of the nonsense, but I figured I’d prefer to save myself the 2 hours and do something that wouldn’t make me want to kill myself.
UPDATE: In the time it took me to write this, they uttered this gem: “Is the skull from the lost island of Atlantis? If so, it would blow a hole in our current theory of evolution!” Then they talked to Richard Hoagland some more. Ok…I’m about to have a coronary. Have to not leave the channel ON when I’m trying to no longer be stabby.